Observations

So, I think I’m going to start blogging again. In the last few months of silence, the most significant event was my wedding. Yeah!

I’m planning to change the layout of the blog as I elevate my digital essence to a new level. But for now, I’ll offer a few observations from lunch at Panera Bread.

#1 – First timer. I hate being a first timer anywhere, like the middle aged lady is the jean skirt and blouse 4 people in front of me in line. The cashier hands her a cup for her drink, and now she’s suppossed to step away from the counter – but where is “away”? She steps back, now clogging the pathway between humans in line. She turns around, looking at the rest of the line aimlessly, still in the way. Oh, she’s loitering because she’s waiting for her friend in the next line. After 3 people excuse themselves while passing her, she finally sidesteps against the wall. SAFE! Next time she’l know to immediately pivot right and meander down to the drinks.

#2 – Nipple girl. Apparently you have the day off…from the looks of your hair and face, it looks like you’re extending your weekend to Monday, and your lounging to everyone’s lunch spot. From the loud exclaimations being made while curled in the leather chair, I unwillingly gather that you might be planning to get married in six weeks. Some simpathy is available for you, as I know the last six weeks are stressful. Having only been married six weeks, I readily recall the busyness of the final days. But that sympathy turns to puzzling distain when you walk by…rather perky in that snug tanktop. Don’t force us to become involved in your frantic and sloppy personal life. You had time to put on another article of clothing.

#3 – Bagel burner. Call me judgemental, but some people just strike me as high maintenance. I’m eating and reading in full view (yet out of earshot) of the cashier, and closer to me is the coffee and napkin counter. First off, to have that large of body requires alot of maintenance…the donut, brownie, and pop kind of maintenance. Second, it shouldn’t take that long to order a bagel, even if you want it sliced in half. Third, when smoke starts billowing out of the toaster, TAKE OUT the bagel. I wish I was paying more attention…did you make them give you a second bagel for FREE, because you weren’t paying enough attention to avoid burning yours?

#4 – Hero of the day. I think you’re an established female news anchor on local television, tough to tell when your face and hair rival nipplegirl’s for being discheveled. Maybe that’s part of the disguise? I applaud the way you respectfully wheeled your mother to a table, and treat her and your father like the only two people there. You seemed patient and interested, engaging them in intelligent conversation while eating. I hope I can have that kind of servant’s attitude with my parents when the time comes.

#5 – Spandex shorts guy. Who are these people? And what are they doing at Panera Bread at noon on Monday? Don’t get me wrong, casual is fine, even on a Monday – but those shorts are too old, too tight, and like nipplegirl, don’t leave enough to the imagination. Seriously, we’re trying to eat lunch!

Remind me not to go to Panera Bread over lunch when I want to study while I eat…obviously, I didn’t get much reading done.

Just image if I’d taken the time to blog after visiting the state fair! Would have loved to describe the mass and variety of humanity we saw there:)

Things to post about soon

- Grandfathers/influence
- Ethnocentrism
- The movie “300″

Fast-food-menu-board-starer

We’ve all heard/seen the real men of genious commercials. I have a suggestion for new one: the guy in front of you at the fast food resturant that takes 5 minutes to pick his value meal. COME ON! They have made it SO SIMPLE…just look at the pictures, then say the number!

I could have eaten faster that he decided! As a matter of fact, I was 80% done before he sat down…he spent another 5 minutes at the condiment counter unwrapping his sandwich, applying precise quanities of various toppings like a scientist mixing an explosive concoction, and making 3 trips to his table with tray, napkins, and drink. Hey dude, you do not belong at a fast food resturant! I sure hope I’m not behind you at the toll booth (wait, I have a PIKEPASS!)!

SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING?

“Stewardesses” is the longest word typed with only the left hand and “lollipop” with your right.  (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn’t you?)

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.  (I’ll bet you’re going to check this out.)

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

“Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.  (Are you doubting this?)

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

The sentence: “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter of the alphabet. (Now, you KNOW you’re going to try this out for accuracy, right?)

The words ‘racecar,’ ‘kayak’ and ‘level’ are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes). (Yep, I knew you were going to “do” this one.)

There are only four words in the English language which end in “dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.  (You’re not doubting this, are you?)

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: “abstemious” and “facetious.” (Yes, admit it, you are going to say …… a e i o u)

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. (All you typists are going to test this out)

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. (Some days that’s about what my memory span is)

A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years. (I know some people that could do this too.)

Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like this.)

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don’t appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. (Good thing he did that)

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

. … Now you know everything!